Martial Art’s greatest, Bruce LeeI was inspired today when I read this in my friend’s yoga newsletter and wanted to share it with you:
“Emptiness is the starting point. In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. My friend, drop all your preconceived and fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is useful? Because it is empty.” Bruce Lee
It’s simply about clearing yourself of negative energy and creating space in your being, your mind-body-spirit, to absorb new positive energies & opportunities from a neutral, white canvas-like starting point.
Easier said than done. But definitely achievable…because ANYONE can.
My 13 year-old niece texted me yesterday after her basketball game that I would be proud she scored 4 three-pointers and a basket. I was beyond proud and impressed her to keep taking those shots and always believing in every one you take – and to take time mentally to celebrate life’s “small victories“.
Because they are victories. Like my niece’s excellent shooting, or closing that important deal at work, or helping your children with homework, or exercising every day this week (or any number of days).
Why not reinforce your daily accomplishments with some good mental ju-ju! And just like the Oscar winners are celebrating their victories today – CONGRATS to all of them and Best Picture ARGO! – take some time each day to celebrate your small victories, whatever they may be.
And perhaps my dear friend and leading lady Stephanie Drapeau and I may not have walked the Red Carpet at the Academy Awards this year, here we are at the premiere of the heartfelt movie CAMP, benefiting Royal Family Kids.
Enjoy – R
Rich Tola and Stephanie Drapeau at CAMP movie premiere 2/22 (photo by Bob Delgadillo)
With the recent passing of Dr. Jerry Buss, the legendary owner of the Los Angeles Lakers, I’ve been reflecting on the importance of remembering loved ones who may be gone but certainly not forgotten.
Like my Uncle Mickey who left us in 2003. Also know as Dr. Cook by his WWII comrades, I fondly remember our weekly talks and brisk walks around the nursing home where he spent his final days.
And although he suffered from an unsympathetic Alzheimer’s disease that made him progressively distant each time I visited, Uncle Mickey remained ever so sweet, benevolent and respectful to everyone he met. Not to mention his charming old school ways – he wore a three piece suit every single day until he could no longer dress himself – and his school-boy crush on Avril Lavigne!
Little did I know that 10 years later I would find this poem I wrote for him the day he passed:
Ode to Mickey
Sitting in my chair, bent head held low,
Oh what I’ve seen, from this window seat row
This is my story, no fear for me now,
Can’t wait for my walks, with my nephew so proud
Cold wars, New York terror, amazing Ali,
Just like my true brethren, please let me be me
Hold onto the past, try not to be seen,
Smile time for my chats, with sweet Avril Lavigne
Nobody can hear me, I’m in the abyss,
What did I do, what in life did I miss
This world did I change, like the high rolling seas,
No chance for me now, against this ugly disease
But worry none friends, fight hard, freedom ring,
Keep faith til the end, cause in life we’re all Kings.
RIP Uncle Mickey (and Dr. Buss)…I’ll always remember you! – R
If you haven’t done so already, then add some IRON to your diet. And I do mean the chemical element with the symbol Fe. That is to say, IRON in the form of dumbbells and free weights. Because a well-balanced Daily Fitness Program includes weightlifting to keep your muscles tone and strong.
All it takes are some dumbbells and a flat bench – or an ottoman will do – which you can likely buy on CraigsList or eBay for a ‘song and dance’. The dumbbells you can store under your bed and the bench or ottoman becomes and part of the decor. Then off you go…with a fool-proof way to spend a quick 30 minutes on a great workout…without ever leaving your bedroom. Who can say NO to that?
Rich Tola teaching Weight Room YogaNo BS here folks. Just another way to respect yourself with another one of my sure-fire ways of getting your daily workout in without spending a lot of time and money. A mouthful, I know, but it’s true.
And if you need some expert instruction on proper posture and technique when exercising with dumbbells and a flat bench, check out Lesson #9 – Weight Room Yoga and my Yoga Survival Guide.
There are 30 fun lessons about 5 minutes each, filmed throughout the streets of Hollywood including Walk of Fame Yoga, Shower Yoga, Bus Stop Yoga, Zoo Yoga, Traffic Yoga, Beach Yoga and the advanced balancing class I call, Prison Yoga, dedicated to Lindsay Lohan the day she went away.
Flashback to 10 years ago and visit your local Mall. Do you remember that rather unorthodox, grassroots fitness movement that swept the nation – Mall Walking. It was a sure fire way to lose weight and it was weather-proof. Plus it was a great way to hang out with your friends without spending any money…unless you hit the food court or stopped by Foot Locker for a new pair of kicks!
Today I experienced this exact flashback while watching a man cruise around the Burbank Town Center Mall (that’s right, the same Burbank, California that Johnny Carson would poke fun at), and wondered what a simple way to get in your 15 minutes of daily exercise – without being outside or paying for it at your local gym or yoga studio. Of course that goes without saying, but there really are no excuses for not respecting yourself with a daily fitness program that equals a mere 1% of your life.
So if you don’t have time for a few of my free 5 Minute Fat Burning Workouts on YouTube (CLICK HERE), then why not gather your friends a few frigid nights a week and head straight for the Mall!
And when you’re done sharpening your body, then sharpen your mind by reading a good book.
Here’s a great suggestion: Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood. It’s my witty and entertaining memoir filled with 69 fast-paced, bite-sized chapters from growing up Sicilian, to the cute-boy syndrome, to the boardroom deals (and babes) on the inside of Wall Street and Hollywood.
Check out the reviews on Amazon (CLICK HERE) and what’s in the Press (CLICK HERE). Enjoy – R
When was the last time you stepped on the scale? If it wasn’t this morning, then it’s Time to Weigh-in!
That’s right, it’s time for you to check your weight as we enter the final three weeks of the year. And if you haven’t taken my advice from last New Year’s Day – click HERE to read my blog – then consider the following discourse “to make the better choice” as articulated in Chapter 67 of my new memoir,
“If you consider Lucy, a 3.2 million year-old ape, as our human ancestor, then as a species we’ve been around a long time. Individually though, it’s less than 100 years. The way I figure it, I’ll be happy to get 80 great years out of it, so why not keep my body (and mind) as young as possible, for as long as possible. How do I plan on doing that? Through proper diet and exercise, two of the hardest simple words in the English language. Because to do each one correctly requires pain and sacrifice. Maybe discomfort is a better word than pain, but you know what I mean. And to master each of these two simple words, you need to “self-correct”. Self-correct refers to making adjustments along the way, consciously reminding yourself to make the better choice.”
And for those of you who believe there’s no chance you can lose those extra pounds you’ve already gained this holiday season – NONSENSE!
Anyone can lose a few measly pounds in less than 21 days! Just MAKE THE BETTER CHOICE when it comes to food and alcohol – you know what that means – and be sure to embrace a Daily Fitness Program. And if you don’t have money for a gym or yoga studio, then start walking everyday and/or start doing any one of my 100 Days of 5-Minute Fat Burning Workouts on YouTube: Boulevard Zen.
Because who doesn’t have 5 minutes a day to respect themselves? Enjoy – R
Have you ever noticed how a romantic relationship starts to sour when one lover desires something completely different from the other? Say you’re ready to start a family and your boyfriend runs for hills at the mere mention of the word ‘marriage’. What should a woman do?
And we’re not talking about doing so because of some kind of physical, mental or emotional abuse here folks (see my previous blog). No, we’re talking about complete disrespect and selfishness on the part of the man for not letting his woman go if she truly desires a family and he never does.
author, Rich TolaCase in point: this past weekend, I had dinner in Hollywood with friends and sat across from this 36 year-old guy who said he’d been dating his girlfriend for the past 6 years. He said, “For some reason the past few months have turned sour and we’ve been fighting all the time”. His girlfriend wasn’t there, of course, and when I asked him if he was going to marry her, he said, “No way man, I’m not into all that marriage and kids stuff.” Hmm. So my response was just as direct, “Does she want a family and kids, and does she know that you don’t?” He gave me that deer in the headlights look and said, “I have no idea.”
Now, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, how in the world DOESN’T this chucklehead – who’s been dating the same gal for the past 6 years and living with her the past 2 – KNOW whether or not she wants a family and kids!
Disrespect – that’s why – and complete disregard for his girlfriend’s feelings and desires since he has no interest whatsoever in broaching the subject for fear of her answer…which is definitely YES. Because what 30 year-old gal who’s been dating the same guy for the past 6 years doesn’t want a family and kids? I guess it’s possible – especially if you’re a porn star – but I’d bet a million dollars it definitely wasn’t the case with this jackass. And when I dug a little deeper, I was right: his friends said “they make the best couple and we’re pulling for them to get engaged for Christmas.”
So what should our frustrated yet eternally hopeful bride-to-be do?
KICK HIM TO THE CURB.
Honey you’re wasting your precious time with another ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’ who has no intention of marrying you – ever! Because that’s what most guys do – they keep you around as long as it satisfies their needs and insecurities and keep you addicted to the that sweet narcotic called HOPE. How do I know this? I was one of these guys, which you can read all about in my sexy new memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood.
So, for any woman looking for the courage to kick their Mr. Right – who’s actually Mr. Wrong – to the curb, the first thing I recommend is to embrace a daily fitness program based on Yoga and soon you’ll be respecting yourself enough to lose that dead weight that’s dragging you down! Ladies, it’s all about self-confidence and self-respect – which is definitely achieved if you feel better about yourself and are doing something that will positively impact your mind and body…for the rest of your life!
Remember, ANYONE can do it…including YOU! Enjoy – R
These five simple yet powerful words are meant to help ANY woman who’s being abused by a significant other and doesn’t believe she has the wherewith-all or courage to do something about it.
Case in point: A few months ago I had just returned to Hollywood when I met this really sweet thirty-something year-old gal who had been living with her lazy, no-good boyfriend for the past 5 years. And I say lazy, no-good because not only does this scumbag mentally and emotionally abuse my friend, but this disrespectful low-life doesn’t pay rent, doesn’t hold a steady job, doesn’t look for work, doesn’t cook or clean or help with chores around the apartment, doesn’t help pay for groceries, and doesn’t own a car but always uses hers. Now I would call that a blood-sucking disrespectful low-life, wouldn’t you? The good news is she doesn’t own anything with him nor do they have children together.
Yesterday I had coffee with her and specifically asked why she still supports this abusive scumbag considering she has ALL the power in the relationship, which by the way, has her looking like she’s suffering from Anorexia nervosa. She meekly said, “He’s not so bad, you know, and even if I wanted, I wouldn’t know how to get him out.” My advice was these five simple words – KICK HIM TO THE CURB. She just looked at me like I was crazy until I said, “It’s really simple if you have the courage to end it – and here are three ways you can do it: 1) tell your landlord you’re being abused by your live-in boyfriend and you need to move out, then pack up all your things when he’s not there and hire a few very large men to help you move everything into a storage unit and go live with your parents or your best friend; 2) on your way out the door tomorrow morning tell your boyfriend he’s got until 5pm to vacate the premises and never return again, at which point you’ll be returning with the police (or other suitable protection) and a restraining order against him; or 3) pack-up all his belongings when he’s not there and leave them on the porch with a note saying if he comes within 100 yards of you or your apartment ever again, you’ll have him arrested (and go directly to the authorities for that restraining order).
Anyone who’s familiar with my charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, knows that I’m passionate about changing the lives of women and children living in domestic violence shelters. And not just with a daily fitness program that’s based on Yoga, but with a self-respecting and open-hearted approach to life that starts with loving yourself and never letting anyone abuse you in any way, shape or form.
Know that ALL abusers are the weak ones, and know that ANYONE can find the courage to seek help from domestic violence organizations and shelters that are there for you.
Be strong and KICK HIM TO THE CURB – you can do it!
As for that scumbag boyfriend of yours – or anyone else abusing any man, woman or child – really look at yourself in the mirror and commit to changing your evil ways – you can do it! And you can start by reading my memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, where a portion of all sales goes to support my charity and our Yoga teachers.
Here’s a follow-up to my recent blog – or rather Rant – about helping Ladies to stop wasting their precious time with bad-boys who just wanna have fun. Because for the most part Ladies, guys can be quite ruthless when it comes to dating.
Case in point: last night I was hanging with a bunch of twenty-something year-olds who were enjoying themselves over numerous Vodka Cranberries and Whiskey Sours. So this drunk guy starts talking to me about this gal he’s been secretly sleeping with for the past month. Interestingly, about 20 minutes earlier I specifically asked him if he was dating the hot party gal sitting across from me. Because as the wily veteran that I am, it was obvious she was smitten with him. He said no, of course, and proceeded to flirt with her until he asked me to join him for a smoke outside. And once outside, he started spilling the beans about his wild love affair with her – including ALL the sexy details of their romantic dalliances.
But wait, it gets better. As soon as we return to the table, his covert gal announces her departure and quickly leaves (and she was definitely hoping he would accompany her, but he didn’t). And not only did he stay, but as soon as she left he started hitting on her friend sitting right next to him. At which point I leaned over and said three simple words, “Don’t do it”. He just smiled at me and kept on pursuing. Until I finally pulled him aside and said “Hey buddy, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, and if he continues with his stupid pursuit he’ll certainly screw-up his torrid love affair and “be left holding his own d— in his hand”. He just smiled at me and said, “No chance pal, they’ll never know.”
Now it doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out, but there’s NO CHANCE this wanna-be Gigolo gets away with it. Fortunately for his sake, the unsuspecting friend denied his advances and soon left the bar. And fortunately for my sake, I didn’t have to be this chucklehead’s therapist since he didn’t say another word about it and was immediately hitting on other babes at the bar.
So there you have it Ladies – another disrespectful bad-boy who thinks he can score with two friends at the same time. Yes, I completely understand this mindset because 20 years ago I was this guy (go figure, right). So heed my advice and Beware the Secret Affair. And more importantly, when it comes to amateur Gigolos trying to be your Mr. Right Now, employ my favorite 4 letter word…NEXT.
And until next time…don’t forget to get your workout in! Enjoy – R
author, Rich TolaCall this a Rant, but the following commentary is meant to help you ladies SMARTEN UP when it comes to men. That’s right, smarten up, because you can be quite stupid when it comes to wasting your precious time obsessing over the wrong guy. And since most women are like little girls who never grow-up and believe their Prince Charming in shining armor is going to swoop them away – sorry ladies, that only works for Julia Roberts & Richard Gere – they fall victim to bad-boy Gigolos wanting to score as their Mr. Right Now. I should know – I was one of them.
Let me explain with a real life example. This weekend I spent an hour with my sexy cool 33-year-old friend who’s also a really sweet gal whom I never slept with – which makes it easier for me to be her therapist (something I advise never to do, by the way, in my memoir Chapter 15 – Just Say No). She told me last week she met a really hot guy who she spent 3 days texting and talking to before they met for coffee on the 4th day. Sparks were flying and they talked about “meaningful relationships” and how they were both “done with the party scene” and all that.
So her 29 year-old Prince Charming talks like he’s “the one” and asks her to dinner the following night. The next day he never called or anything. So she texted him. No response. Now it’s a week later with no communication whatsoever and she’s whining to me about how she’s getting older and she’s not that attractive any more, and how she feels totally rejected by this chucklehead she really thought was the one. And of course she’s obsessing about whether he’ll still call, and if he does, should she say anything about him blowing her off for dinner or just leave it alone. Now I would call that wasting your precious time, wouldn’t you? So what did I suggest to my love-smitten friend? Forgettabout him!
Ladies, take heed of my favorite 4 letter word…NEXT. Because Mr. Right Now definitely got my friend’s text and choose not to contact her. He’s playing her for a fool and only wants to secure the power – don’t let him do it. Move on to better and brighter pastures and remain open to meeting Mr. Right. It’s not this guy, that’s for sure. Because if a guy doesn’t follow through, then he’s got something or someone else he wants to pursue that takes priority over you. Not good. Be strong and kick him to the curb. Better yet, run! Because Gigolos will only chip away at your self-confidence and self-respect. Something you should NEVER let happen. Respect yourself, just like you would with a Daily Fitness Program. However impossible it may seem, you CAN do it – if you just try and never give up! Because ANYONE can workout every single day and drink from the Fountain of Youth, as explained and simplified by me in Chapter 67 – Self Correct, for when the right man (or woman) does come along.
I have – for the past 40 years.
And for anyone looking to expand your mind – or change careers – here’s what Erica Lamberg with media giant Gannett writes about my memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, www.mycentraljersey.com (click link to read article).
There’s 386 pages packed full of 69 bite-sized Chapters detailing the fascinating journey of this street-smart Sicilian kid from “Jersey” who grew up poor then forged his way through the Wharton and Kellogg Business Schools, to Wall Street juggernauts Goldman Sachs and Drexel Burnham Lambert, to signing contracts with Donald Trump and reaching a net-worth of $10 million. Only to lose it all in the blink-of-an-eye, leading to an Epiphany (Chapter 47) that led to Yoga and enlightenment.
A mouthful I know, but it’s sure been a wild ride with tons of witty and heartfelt stories about growing up Sicilian with “Goombata Sal” and “representing the family”, to the “cute-boy syndrome” that fueled romances with a bevy of engaged and married women (and NYC strippers), to the plethora of major US cities and exotic locales where I lived, worked and played including NYC, LA, Philadelphia, Chicago, Hong Kong, Singapore and Malaysia, to the “nobody makes it here” streets of Hollywood.
You’ll also learn about domestic violence and why I founded a charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, to teach the benefits of Yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters. A portion of all my book and DVD sales are donated to this cause.
Enjoy…and don’t forget to get your workout in! – Rich
