No matter what your “deal” is, never assume it’s a done-deal while it’s still a work-in-process.
Case in point: This morning I was advising a real estate broker friend on re-submitting a purchase offer on a piece of land in the Hamptons (a popular seaside resort in NY with some of the most expensive residential properties in the US) when I said, “Never assume it’s a done-deal”. He responded by explaining that last week the listing broker said the property owner accepted an offer from someone else, and that his bone fide buyer should just “wait and see”.
Wait and see…forgettaboutit!
How about speaking with your buyer and determining whether or not they could sweeten their bid by changing a deal point – like the deposit money or contingencies or closing date – I said. Because a real estate deal is never done until title to the property transfers and the money is in the bank (or better yet, your bank, since that means the deal closed and you got paid).
So whatever you do, Don’t Make Assumptions. It doesn’t serve you well and only leads to futurizing, i.e., obsessing over something that hasn’t happened yet and quite possibly may never happen. Focus on the present, and don’t defeat yourself with a done-deal attitude.
When you look up the word complacency in the dictionary you’ll learn the following meaning: self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation or condition.
So whatever you do in life, AVOID it like the plague! Because in order to improve upon your existing situation – or physical well-being, for that matter – it’s always best to “stay hungry” for perfection so you can better yourself and your condition. And never be smug about it!
Regardless of your situation, always strive to better yourself and seek the higher ground.
As a kid growing up in a poor Sicilian family, my parents taught me to always strive for perfection and to believe in myself in whatever I did. Whether it was playing baseball on my unbeaten 12 year-old All-Star team, or attending auditions in the “nobody makes it here world of Hollywood”. I do my best and never get complacent with my abilities or achievements.
That’s why over the past six years since I arrived here in February 2007, I’ve been creating and innovating as much as I can. Like my more than 100 free Yoga & fitness videos posted to the Internet and new Audio-book for my memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood. I didn’t just settle with the paperback and digital versions. No. I wanted to make my life’s wild and inspiring journey about pursing my Hollywood calling and persevering against the odds – however great they may be against you – available on all platforms, including Audio.
So in two weeks I’ll be the proud father of another creation narrated and produced by me. Here’s a preview of what’s to come:
Are you one of those individuals who never has time to workout? Or to put it bluntly – since I’m definitely not one for beating around the bush – are you one of those non-fitness types who thinks they have a legitimate “I have no time” reason for never working out?
If you are (with no judgment whatsoever folks), then here’s a little something for you:
My 5-minute, full-body, Yoga-based workout from Rich Tola’s Yoga Survival Guide that you can do while watching The Ellen Show. That’s right, a 5-minute workout you can easily muster during commercial breaks with Ellen DeGeneres. With a little dance warm-up to boot!
From beginners to seasoned yoginis who want to enhance their practice by learning the proper fundamentals of Yoga, my 2 1/2 hour video encyclopedia of 100 Yoga poses will do just that. Learn Yoga anywhere…with my 5-minute fun & effective lessons that were filmed throughout the streets of Hollywood in 2010 to benefit my charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, teaching Yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters.
Because who doesn’t have 5 minutes a day to respect themselves? Enjoy – R
Mindfulness studies were done at the University of California, Santa Barbara, where “researchers found that after a group of undergraduates went through a two-week intensive mindfulness training program, their mind-wandering decreased and their working memory capacity improved. They also performed better on a reading comprehension test — a section from the Graduate Record Examination, or G.R.E.”
And if you know a thing or two about meditation – it can be done anywhere. Although the best results may be achieved by following the secular pillars of the practice, including sitting in an upright posture with legs crossed and gaze lowered, you can incorporate mindful meditation into all aspects of your life…including your workout regime.
Because when it comes to clearing your mind and strengthening your body with a Daily Fitness Program, it’s always best to keep your thoughts – and feelings – focused on the exercise at hand. Don’t obsess about the past or futurize about what you have to do later that day.
Make it a moving meditation. Stay purposeful, focused and relaxed (breathe), and BE PRESENT in everything you do.
COMING SOON in AUDIO BOOKThe past few days I’ve been in the studio recording the Audio Book (coming soon) for my memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, and had a chance to reflect on one of my favorite lessons learned on Wall Street.
Chapter 21 – Sit Tall in the Saddle, tells about when I interned with a top broker at Prudential Securities:
“The day I arrived, the first thing he did was hand me a framed picture of a cowboy sitting on a horse looking sternly off into the distance. Beneath the picture the caption read, ‘When you ride alone, you must sit tall in the saddle’. I just looked at him and smiled, while he looked at me with a serious face and said, ‘Always remember that and you’ll be fine.’ To this day, I can’t help but think how the little things I learned from some of Wall Street’s million dollar men continue to inspire me.”
So Sit Tall in the Saddle in whatever you do today…and don’t forget your Daily Fitness Program!
Yoga Master, Rich TolaThis weekend I spent time with a bunch of twenty-something year-olds talking about exercise and the importance of a Daily Fitness Program – a concept as foreign to them as The Jack LaLanne Show.
When I said “good posture and balance will boost your self-confidence”, they looked at me like I had three heads!
Because good posture and balance (and NOT slouching) exudes self-confidence to everyone around you as well as: 1) properly aligns your spine and puts less stress on your joints, 2) helps the bones, muscles and ligaments in the spine to move smoothly and pain-free in everything you do, 3) improves your breathing by making it easier for your lungs and diaphragm to expand, and 4) engages your abdominals at all times enabling a strong core and flatter midsection – and better looking Abs!
So get your Yoga groove on today and improve your posture and balance like I did with Ardha Chandrasana (Half-Moon pose) in the beautiful sculpture gardens at The Huntington Library.
If you haven’t done so already, then add some IRON to your diet. And I do mean the chemical element with the symbol Fe. That is to say, IRON in the form of dumbbells and free weights. Because a well-balanced Daily Fitness Program includes weightlifting to keep your muscles tone and strong.
All it takes are some dumbbells and a flat bench – or an ottoman will do – which you can likely buy on CraigsList or eBay for a ‘song and dance’. The dumbbells you can store under your bed and the bench or ottoman becomes and part of the decor. Then off you go…with a fool-proof way to spend a quick 30 minutes on a great workout…without ever leaving your bedroom. Who can say NO to that?
Rich Tola teaching Weight Room YogaNo BS here folks. Just another way to respect yourself with another one of my sure-fire ways of getting your daily workout in without spending a lot of time and money. A mouthful, I know, but it’s true.
And if you need some expert instruction on proper posture and technique when exercising with dumbbells and a flat bench, check out Lesson #9 – Weight Room Yoga and my Yoga Survival Guide.
There are 30 fun lessons about 5 minutes each, filmed throughout the streets of Hollywood including Walk of Fame Yoga, Shower Yoga, Bus Stop Yoga, Zoo Yoga, Traffic Yoga, Beach Yoga and the advanced balancing class I call, Prison Yoga, dedicated to Lindsay Lohan the day she went away.
Flashback to 10 years ago and visit your local Mall. Do you remember that rather unorthodox, grassroots fitness movement that swept the nation – Mall Walking. It was a sure fire way to lose weight and it was weather-proof. Plus it was a great way to hang out with your friends without spending any money…unless you hit the food court or stopped by Foot Locker for a new pair of kicks!
Today I experienced this exact flashback while watching a man cruise around the Burbank Town Center Mall (that’s right, the same Burbank, California that Johnny Carson would poke fun at), and wondered what a simple way to get in your 15 minutes of daily exercise – without being outside or paying for it at your local gym or yoga studio. Of course that goes without saying, but there really are no excuses for not respecting yourself with a daily fitness program that equals a mere 1% of your life.
So if you don’t have time for a few of my free 5 Minute Fat Burning Workouts on YouTube (CLICK HERE), then why not gather your friends a few frigid nights a week and head straight for the Mall!
And when you’re done sharpening your body, then sharpen your mind by reading a good book.
Here’s a great suggestion: Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood. It’s my witty and entertaining memoir filled with 69 fast-paced, bite-sized chapters from growing up Sicilian, to the cute-boy syndrome, to the boardroom deals (and babes) on the inside of Wall Street and Hollywood.
Check out the reviews on Amazon (CLICK HERE) and what’s in the Press (CLICK HERE). Enjoy – R
When was the last time you stepped on the scale? If it wasn’t this morning, then it’s Time to Weigh-in!
That’s right, it’s time for you to check your weight as we enter the final three weeks of the year. And if you haven’t taken my advice from last New Year’s Day – click HERE to read my blog – then consider the following discourse “to make the better choice” as articulated in Chapter 67 of my new memoir,
“If you consider Lucy, a 3.2 million year-old ape, as our human ancestor, then as a species we’ve been around a long time. Individually though, it’s less than 100 years. The way I figure it, I’ll be happy to get 80 great years out of it, so why not keep my body (and mind) as young as possible, for as long as possible. How do I plan on doing that? Through proper diet and exercise, two of the hardest simple words in the English language. Because to do each one correctly requires pain and sacrifice. Maybe discomfort is a better word than pain, but you know what I mean. And to master each of these two simple words, you need to “self-correct”. Self-correct refers to making adjustments along the way, consciously reminding yourself to make the better choice.”
And for those of you who believe there’s no chance you can lose those extra pounds you’ve already gained this holiday season – NONSENSE!
Anyone can lose a few measly pounds in less than 21 days! Just MAKE THE BETTER CHOICE when it comes to food and alcohol – you know what that means – and be sure to embrace a Daily Fitness Program. And if you don’t have money for a gym or yoga studio, then start walking everyday and/or start doing any one of my 100 Days of 5-Minute Fat Burning Workouts on YouTube: Boulevard Zen.
Because who doesn’t have 5 minutes a day to respect themselves? Enjoy – R
Have you ever noticed how a romantic relationship starts to sour when one lover desires something completely different from the other? Say you’re ready to start a family and your boyfriend runs for hills at the mere mention of the word ‘marriage’. What should a woman do?
And we’re not talking about doing so because of some kind of physical, mental or emotional abuse here folks (see my previous blog). No, we’re talking about complete disrespect and selfishness on the part of the man for not letting his woman go if she truly desires a family and he never does.
author, Rich TolaCase in point: this past weekend, I had dinner in Hollywood with friends and sat across from this 36 year-old guy who said he’d been dating his girlfriend for the past 6 years. He said, “For some reason the past few months have turned sour and we’ve been fighting all the time”. His girlfriend wasn’t there, of course, and when I asked him if he was going to marry her, he said, “No way man, I’m not into all that marriage and kids stuff.” Hmm. So my response was just as direct, “Does she want a family and kids, and does she know that you don’t?” He gave me that deer in the headlights look and said, “I have no idea.”
Now, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, how in the world DOESN’T this chucklehead – who’s been dating the same gal for the past 6 years and living with her the past 2 – KNOW whether or not she wants a family and kids!
Disrespect – that’s why – and complete disregard for his girlfriend’s feelings and desires since he has no interest whatsoever in broaching the subject for fear of her answer…which is definitely YES. Because what 30 year-old gal who’s been dating the same guy for the past 6 years doesn’t want a family and kids? I guess it’s possible – especially if you’re a porn star – but I’d bet a million dollars it definitely wasn’t the case with this jackass. And when I dug a little deeper, I was right: his friends said “they make the best couple and we’re pulling for them to get engaged for Christmas.”
So what should our frustrated yet eternally hopeful bride-to-be do?
KICK HIM TO THE CURB.
Honey you’re wasting your precious time with another ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’ who has no intention of marrying you – ever! Because that’s what most guys do – they keep you around as long as it satisfies their needs and insecurities and keep you addicted to the that sweet narcotic called HOPE. How do I know this? I was one of these guys, which you can read all about in my sexy new memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood.
So, for any woman looking for the courage to kick their Mr. Right – who’s actually Mr. Wrong – to the curb, the first thing I recommend is to embrace a daily fitness program based on Yoga and soon you’ll be respecting yourself enough to lose that dead weight that’s dragging you down! Ladies, it’s all about self-confidence and self-respect – which is definitely achieved if you feel better about yourself and are doing something that will positively impact your mind and body…for the rest of your life!
Remember, ANYONE can do it…including YOU! Enjoy – R
