Beware the Secret Affair

Here’s a follow-up to my recent blog – or rather Rant – about helping Ladies to stop wasting their precious time with bad-boys who just wanna have fun. Because for the most part Ladies, guys can be quite ruthless when it comes to dating.

Case in point: last night I was hanging with a bunch of twenty-something year-olds who were enjoying themselves over numerous Vodka Cranberries and Whiskey Sours. So this drunk guy starts talking to me about this gal he’s been secretly sleeping with for the past month. Interestingly, about 20 minutes earlier I specifically asked him if he was dating the hot party gal sitting across from me. Because as the wily veteran that I am, it was obvious she was smitten with him. He said no, of course, and proceeded to flirt with her until he asked me to join him for a smoke outside. And once outside, he started spilling the beans about his wild love affair with her – including ALL the sexy details of their romantic dalliances.

But wait, it gets better. As soon as we return to the table, his covert gal announces her departure and quickly leaves (and she was definitely hoping he would accompany her, but he didn’t). And not only did he stay, but as soon as she left he started hitting on her friend sitting right next to him. At which point I leaned over and said three simple words, “Don’t do it”. He just smiled at me and kept on pursuing. Until I finally pulled him aside and said “Hey buddy, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, and if he continues with his stupid pursuit he’ll certainly screw-up his torrid love affair and “be left holding his own d— in his hand”. He just smiled at me and said, “No chance pal, they’ll never know.”

Now it doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out, but there’s NO CHANCE this wanna-be Gigolo gets away with it. Fortunately for his sake, the unsuspecting friend denied his advances and soon left the bar. And fortunately for my sake, I didn’t have to be this chucklehead’s therapist since he didn’t say another word about it and was immediately hitting on other babes at the bar.

So there you have it Ladies – another disrespectful bad-boy who thinks he can score with two friends at the same time. Yes, I completely understand this mindset because 20 years ago I was this guy (go figure, right). So heed my advice and Beware the Secret Affair. And more importantly, when it comes to amateur Gigolos trying to be your Mr. Right Now, employ my favorite 4 letter word…NEXT.

And until next time…don’t forget to get your workout in! Enjoy – R

Ladies Smarten Up

author, Rich Tola
Call this a Rant, but the following commentary is meant to help you ladies SMARTEN UP when it comes to men. That’s right, smarten up, because you can be quite stupid when it comes to wasting your precious time obsessing over the wrong guy. And since most women are like little girls who never grow-up and believe their Prince Charming in shining armor is going to swoop them away – sorry ladies, that only works for Julia Roberts & Richard Gere – they fall victim to bad-boy Gigolos wanting to score as their Mr. Right Now. I should know – I was one of them.

Let me explain with a real life example. This weekend I spent an hour with my sexy cool 33-year-old friend who’s also a really sweet gal whom I never slept with – which makes it easier for me to be her therapist (something I advise never to do, by the way, in my memoir Chapter 15 – Just Say No). She told me last week she met a really hot guy who she spent 3 days texting and talking to before they met for coffee on the 4th day. Sparks were flying and they talked about “meaningful relationships” and how they were both “done with the party scene” and all that.

So her 29 year-old Prince Charming talks like he’s “the one” and asks her to dinner the following night. The next day he never called or anything. So she texted him. No response. Now it’s a week later with no communication whatsoever and she’s whining to me about how she’s getting older and she’s not that attractive any more, and how she feels totally rejected by this chucklehead she really thought was the one. And of course she’s obsessing about whether he’ll still call, and if he does, should she say anything about him blowing her off for dinner or just leave it alone. Now I would call that wasting your precious time, wouldn’t you? So what did I suggest to my love-smitten friend? Forgettabout him!

Ladies, take heed of my favorite 4 letter word…NEXT. Because Mr. Right Now definitely got my friend’s text and choose not to contact her. He’s playing her for a fool and only wants to secure the power – don’t let him do it. Move on to better and brighter pastures and remain open to meeting Mr. Right. It’s not this guy, that’s for sure. Because if a guy doesn’t follow through, then he’s got something or someone else he wants to pursue that takes priority over you. Not good. Be strong and kick him to the curb. Better yet, run! Because Gigolos will only chip away at your self-confidence and self-respect. Something you should NEVER let happen. Respect yourself, just like you would with a Daily Fitness Program. However impossible it may seem, you CAN do it – if you just try and never give up! Because ANYONE can workout every single day and drink from the Fountain of Youth, as explained and simplified by me in Chapter 67 – Self Correct, for when the right man (or woman) does come along.

I have – for the past 40 years.

And for anyone looking to expand your mind – or change careers – here’s what Erica Lamberg with media giant Gannett writes about my memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, www.mycentraljersey.com (click link to read article).

There’s 386 pages packed full of 69 bite-sized Chapters detailing the fascinating journey of this street-smart Sicilian kid from “Jersey” who grew up poor then forged his way through the Wharton and Kellogg Business Schools, to Wall Street juggernauts Goldman Sachs and Drexel Burnham Lambert, to signing contracts with Donald Trump and reaching a net-worth of $10 million. Only to lose it all in the blink-of-an-eye, leading to an Epiphany (Chapter 47) that led to Yoga and enlightenment.

A mouthful I know, but it’s sure been a wild ride with tons of witty and heartfelt stories about growing up Sicilian with “Goombata Sal” and “representing the family”, to the “cute-boy syndrome” that fueled romances with a bevy of engaged and married women (and NYC strippers), to the plethora of major US cities and exotic locales where I lived, worked and played including NYC, LA, Philadelphia, Chicago, Hong Kong, Singapore and Malaysia, to the “nobody makes it here” streets of Hollywood.

You’ll also learn about domestic violence and why I founded a charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, to teach the benefits of Yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters. A portion of all my book and DVD sales are donated to this cause.

Enjoy…and don’t forget to get your workout in! – Rich

You Can Do It

This was the last thing I said to the twenty-something year old subway rider I met on the Red Line in North Hollywood last night. I was returning home from a day at the beach with my friend Sara (a rather impromptu visit, thus my jeans and Calvin’s) when this really large dude started speaking to me.

As soon as this guy sat down he looked over at me and said, “So what’a ya bench 350 pounds or something?” I smiled and said no, and then I asked if he ever tried yoga. I already knew the answer, but it was a way of breaking the ice about his size. He was at least 50 pounds overweight, and after a few facts about yoga I asked if he was trying to lose weight. “Yeah”, at least 50 pounds”, he said, “and I think I know what to eat and all that, like fruits and vegetables and no cakes and fried foods.” Cool, I thought, he’s on the right track. Then I asked if he had 20 minutes every morning to go for a brisk walk. “Walk right out your front door and keep going for exactly 10 minutes, then stop, turn around and walk back”, I said, “and there’s your mile of cardio to start every day.”

“But that’s not the problem”, he said. “I think I can’t lose weight because I drink a lot of beer every day.” Then I asked, “Like what…two six-packs a day?” He answered, “Yeah, that sounds about right”.

Now if you’ve read my sexy new memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, you know I also liked my beverages until I quit 5 years ago. Because 12 drinks a day is a lot of alcohol for any one of any size. And I told this guy so, then I gave him a suggestion. I recommended the following: Take ½ of everything you are going to eat or drink – every single time you eat or drink – for the next 30 days and give it to a homeless person. That’s right – wrap up half your food and half your booze, every day for the next 30 days, and give it to a homeless person. “You’ll be helping them and helping yourself”, I said, “and I bet soon into the 30 days you’ll be eating and drinking a lot less; and I guarantee you’ll lose weight.” Somewhere between 5-10 pounds I surmised, and for the New Year that’s only 3 months away, I told my large friend he should set his sights on 3 beers a day for all of 2013. He just looked at me in disbelief and said, “Wow, wouldn’t that be cool.” Yes it would, which I sincerely reinforced with my final four words of encouragement, “You Can Do It”.

Anyone can, if you STOP feeling sorry for yourself and BELIEVE you can! Get started today with a new attitude and a new look on whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. Especially the impossible.

And my special thanks go out to NY and NJ’s “Entertainment Bible since 1988” Steppin’ Out Magazine for featuring my poem on page 32 of their September 26th edition. A little something I wrote to help the ladies differentiate the good guys from the players called, “10 Ways to Avoid a Gigolo”.

Enjoy – Rich

Drink from the Fountain of Youth

Looking and feeling young isn’t an accident. Looking old is.

Working out every single day of your life will not only turn back the hands of time, but it makes you sexy, confident, and successful.

And you’ll glow.

So if you’re looking for an entertaining and inspiring book to read while you’re sitting on the beach this summer, my sexy memoir Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, not only motivates you to embrace a daily fitness program, but it also gives you hope – that anyone can pursue their passion and live their dream.

Enjoy – R

Available on AMAZON.com – Kindle ($9.99).

Signed Memoirs & Streets of Manhattan

Come visit me on the streets of Manhattan where I’ll be signing copies of my sexy new memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood.

Locations include Wall Street – near the Whitehall subway stop, Union Square, Bryant Park and Central Park, and of course, the 15-acre lush, green pasture best known as Sheep Meadow.

I’ll be posting NYC and local happenings to my Facebook and Twitter, so follow me and come on by!

And don’t forget your daily workout today…enjoy! – R

Readers say book’s an “intriguing, sexy, page-turner”

Over the past six weeks readers of my new memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, said my life’s been one helluva page-turning journey filled with intrigue, sex and lucrative careers – to say the least.

Of course I’d love to be reviewed by The New York Times, Los Angeles Times and San Francisco Chronicle (I’ve sent them copies), as well as any other book club or national critic. Because the proof is in the pudding – and self-promotion is quite humbling. So check it out for yourself, it’s an entertaining timeline of my life with tons of colorful and insightful – and oftentimes poignant – stories about everything from funerals and old-school Sicilian customs, to selling Junk bonds on Wall Street and The General Motors Building for The Trump Organization, to what it means to be a Yoga teacher and an actor trying to “make it” on the elusive streets of Hollywood.

Thanks for reading and enjoy! And don’t forget your daily workout – R

Click HERE to BUY on AMAZON.com

A portion of all book and DVD sales is donated to my charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, teaching yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters.

At the Heart of My Memoir – Learn From the Best

Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to HollywoodAfter the plethora of sexy, intriguing and true stories in my new memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, the essence of my life’s journey is captured in Chapter 68 – Learn From the Best.

So here’s my favorite chapter and a few photos of me from the book. Enjoy!

DOWNLOAD the e-book on
www.AMAZON.com for $9.99

Chapter 68 – Learn From the Best

Remember the movie Splash (1984), with Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks? Do you wish you could do that? Just dive into the ocean and start a new life? How cool would it be to have the courage to completely change who you are. The thing is, that’s the great thing about your movie – you’re the actor, producer and director, so you can change anything you want.

How? Self-correct and GO TO THE POSITIVE. I didn’t say to just think positive, because more is needed. It’s about going all the way with thinking, feeling and being positive. Feel more, think less. Heavy stuff, I know, so let me explain with an example. I know a sixty-something gal who no matter what we talk about, she’ll go the negative. When I told her I was writing a book about my life, she said, “Oh, you can get writer’s block, you know.” When I told her I would be getting a publisher when I finished, she said, “Oh, that’s so hard to do.” And when I told her I was going on a book tour when I finished, she laughed and said, “Oh, don’t be delusional.” I don’t know about you, but these are some pretty negative thoughts. You might say she can’t help herself because that’s what she’s experienced and believes, but I ask, why not believe the opposite will happen, and say, “That’s awesome Rich, you will get a good publisher, and I look forward to your book signing.” That’s the positive approach to life, and it communicates that you’re open to the realm of possibilities. Because anything is possible if you set your sights and try.

Whenever anybody says anything close in meaning to that phrase, “it’s hard”, I think of the paraplegic gal in my Mother’s Day yoga class, smiling from ear-to-ear, giving it all she had. Was it hard? Yes. Did she succeed? Absolutely.

Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to HollywoodI should know. Thirty days ago I started writing my first book, and now it’s almost finished. I want to keep going, because I love it and see an infinite world of possibilities. And so can you, regardless of your passion. Remember, it’s about finding and following your passion. Then grow it from there. And just because no one else in the world has ever done it, doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Did anyone say, Man on the Moon, or Apple Computer, or Facebook? You get my point. And never think you can’t do something because your family or friends don’t think you can – send them the press clippings when you succeed. Do it for you.

Always learn from the best. And if you can’t learn from the best, find someone that has, and learn from them. The same goes for teachers. I laugh every time I hear my best friend Angelae say, “Honey, would you take financial advice from a homeless person?” Because wouldn’t you want to learn from someone who truly exemplifies the profession, whatever it is?

Stay focused on what you’re doing, no matter what it is. Relax, listen and focus. Most importantly, listen. Because it makes you better at everything. The same holds true for your body – listen to how it feels. From the time you wake-up, until the time you go to bed. Listen and self-correct with proper posture and breathing.

Once I started feeling and not just thinking, everything changed. As males we’re taught not to feel, just think it through and forge ahead. I’ve learned this isn’t always the smartest thing to do. Give it some thought guys, and try sitting and feeling without thinking sometime. I remember the first time my acting coach, Roberta, had us lie on the ground and just feel. “Is she serious?” I never tried to just “feel” before. She would come around and whisper something deeply personal in my ear, and say, “Now just let go and feel”. I thought, “Why?” She said, “Once you truly feel, you’re more aware of yourself and your gifts”. You really do find assets you never knew you had.

And whatever knowledge you acquire from the best, now simply innovate and take it to another level, trusting your instincts. And most importantly, be you. And never be afraid to fail or to look foolish to the crowd. Because what does it matter anyway what other people think? Always trust yourself and have confidence in your abilities. The greatest professional basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan, said, “I’ve missed 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot – and missed. I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” So heed advice from a legend who got cut from the varsity team his sophomore year in high school.

Finally, remember what the first deaf-blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree, Helen Keller, said, “Never bend your head low. Hold it high and look the world straight in the eye.”

Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood by Rich Tola © 2012

Memoir – Simply – In Stores Now!

Thanks again to all those who bought my book, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood. Post your comments below or on Facebook – love to hear them! And if you find yourself in San Francisco, you can buy a copy at Books Inc. in Opera Plaza, located at 601 Van Ness, and Browser Books in Pacific Heights, located at 2195 Fillmore St. With In-Store events coming in May!

You can also download the e-book on Kindle.com for $9.99

Here’s what readers are calling it thus far: enjoyable, inspiring, a great coast-to-coast read on a direct flight, fantastic, a real page-turner, and, wow, a well-written book with so many women. Well, what can I say, but there’s a really good chapter in there explaining the “cute-boy syndrome” and my retirement from “playing” aptly called, The Player Gets Played. And tons more stories that’ll humor you for a good 4 hours, or longer, if you get caught up on my multi-generational timeline of pictures – all 48 of them – from the early 1960’s to 2011.

So maybe you don’t want your 13-year old reading this, but if YOU do, you’ll learn something new about all sorts of places and things. Not to mention the plethora of businesses you’ll experience, including Wall Street and making movies. For sure you’ll be inspired to get up and try something new, or at least acknowledge that you could do something new, if you just believed in yourself and tried. Like a daily fitness program. Of course that’s in there too, in one of my favorite chapters, Self-Correct.

A portion of all sales is donated to my charity. Thanks for reading! Enjoy – R

Memoir Helps Women and Children of Domestic Violence


Hi Everyone,

I’m happy to announce my memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, is available for purchase at www.Amazon.com. There’s 386 pages worth – featuring 69 short chapters of wild and inspiring true stories.

10% of all sales donated to The Boulevard Zen Foundation, where we teach yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters.

Enjoy – R

5 Years Goes By Quick!

Exactly 5 years ago today I purchased a one-way ticket and boarded a plane to Hollywood. Of course, I had a “Five Year Plan”, which you’ll read all about in Chapter 3 of my soon-to-be-released memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood. But when does anything go according to plan, right? Nevertheless, it’s been an amazing 5 years and I’m really looking forward to the next leg of my journey! Because, no matter if you’re “on-track” to meet your pre-determined plan, life always throws you a curve ball. And just like a batter expecting the fastball but gets the curve – relax, stay focused, keep you eye on the ball, and go with the pitch. And always remember, wherever you go, go with all your heart.

Here’s my Top Ten highlights of the past 5 years:

1) Produced, directed and starred in my first feature film, Boulevard Zen
2) Created and produced a video encyclopedia of 100 yoga poses, Yoga Survival Guide
3) Created and produced a yoga/fitness video for 7 days a week, 15 Minute Fat Burning Workouts
4) Created and produced 100 consecutive days of free yoga/fitness videos, 5 Minute Fat Burning Workouts: 100 Workouts in 100 Days
5) Founded a charity teaching yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters, The Boulevard Zen Foundation
6) Launched the Fat Burn America Tour: 100 Cities in 100 Days (albeit, I didn’t procure the necessary funding)
7) Quit drinking and my “player” ways (OK, that’s 2 but they go together)
8) Lived in paradise (Hawaii) for 3 months
9) Wrote my first book, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood
10) Moved to the most lovable and unique city in the country: San Francisco

Oh, did I mention I worked out every day for the past 5 years. I guess that goes without saying, because anyone can commit to a daily fitness program, if you set your sights and try. So for those of you not currently trying to fight Father Time on a daily basis, here’s another 5 Minute Fat Burning Workout to get you started. Enjoy – R