Author | Filmmaker and Host, Tola Talks
Tola Talks with the hilarious comedian Jen Kober. Decided to mix it up today on Acoustic Fridays, because Jen is that good! Rich also breaks his silence on dating younger women.
Weekdays on youtube.com/tolatalks
Has your relationship soured? Is your boyfriend (or girlfriend) cheating on you? Then don’t use a butter knife to end it...Take out the Machete!
Let me explain with a real life example. This weekend I spent an hour with my sexy cool 33-year-old friend who’s also a really sweet gal whom I never slept with – which makes it easier for me to be her therapist (something I advise never to do, by the way, in my memoir Chapter 15 – Just Say No). She told me last week she met a really hot guy who she spent 3 days texting and talking to before they met for coffee on the 4th day. Sparks were flying and they talked about “meaningful relationships” and how they were both “done with the party scene” and all that.
So her 29 year-old Prince Charming talks like he’s “the one” and asks her to dinner the following night. The next day he never called or anything. So she texted him. No response. Now it’s a week later with no communication whatsoever and she’s whining to me about how she’s getting older and she’s not that attractive any more, and how she feels totally rejected by this chucklehead she really thought was the one. And of course she’s obsessing about whether he’ll still call, and if he does, should she say anything about him blowing her off for dinner or just leave it alone. Now I would call that wasting your precious time, wouldn’t you? So what did I suggest to my love-smitten friend? Forgettabout him!
Ladies, take heed of my favorite 4 letter word…NEXT. Because Mr. Right Now definitely got my friend’s text and choose not to contact her. He’s playing her for a fool and only wants to secure the power – don’t let him do it. Move on to better and brighter pastures and remain open to meeting Mr. Right. It’s not this guy, that’s for sure. Because if a guy doesn’t follow through, then he’s got something or someone else he wants to pursue that takes priority over you. Not good. Be strong and kick him to the curb. Better yet, run! Because Gigolos will only chip away at your self-confidence and self-respect. Something you should NEVER let happen. Respect yourself, just like you would with a Daily Fitness Program. However impossible it may seem, you CAN do it – if you just try and never give up! Because ANYONE can workout every single day and drink from the Fountain of Youth, as explained and simplified by me in Chapter 67 – Self Correct, for when the right man (or woman) does come along.
I have – for the past 40 years.
And for anyone looking to expand your mind – or change careers – here’s what Erica Lamberg with media giant Gannett writes about my memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, www.mycentraljersey.com (click link to read article).
There’s 386 pages packed full of 69 bite-sized Chapters detailing the fascinating journey of this street-smart Sicilian kid from “Jersey” who grew up poor then forged his way through the Wharton and Kellogg Business Schools, to Wall Street juggernauts Goldman Sachs and Drexel Burnham Lambert, to signing contracts with Donald Trump and reaching a net-worth of $10 million. Only to lose it all in the blink-of-an-eye, leading to an Epiphany (Chapter 47) that led to Yoga and enlightenment.
A mouthful I know, but it’s sure been a wild ride with tons of witty and heartfelt stories about growing up Sicilian with “Goombata Sal” and “representing the family”, to the “cute-boy syndrome” that fueled romances with a bevy of engaged and married women (and NYC strippers), to the plethora of major US cities and exotic locales where I lived, worked and played including NYC, LA, Philadelphia, Chicago, Hong Kong, Singapore and Malaysia, to the “nobody makes it here” streets of Hollywood.
You’ll also learn about domestic violence and why I founded a charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, to teach the benefits of Yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters. A portion of all my book and DVD sales are donated to this cause.
Enjoy…and don’t forget to get your workout in! – Rich
Listen up ladies, and BEWARE this Halloween season! Don’t be fooled by wannabe Gigolos serenading you with my 10 MOST FRIGHTFUL PICK-UP LINES. Because we all know that ghastly pick-up lines can scare the skeleton out of you and are mischievously laced with good ole’ fashion bullshit that’s meant to keep you talking – so those blood-sucking bad-boys can penetrate your sweet coffin and suck you dry! Enjoy – Rich
1. You live around here?
Probably the most classic of frightful pick-up lines from the most amateur of bad-boys with no shot at scoring. He’s just trying to bait you ladies into a conversation by asking you an innocent question. No chance suckas!
2. Where are you from?
Notice how these four simple words could spark a conversation? Don’t fall for it ladies! Or better yet, answer it with: Barsoom (the planet Mars from Edgar Rice Burroughs and the sci-fi classic, John Carter). Or just a sweet smile that says “cute, but not enough”.
3. What’s your name?
Ouch, this one hurts just reading it! If she wanted you to know her name, chucklehead, then she would have introduced herself in the first place! NEXT.
4. Haven’t I seen you in the movies?
What do think she’s an idiot! And what’s that mean, “in the movies”? Like Titanic or Twilight or We Bought a Zoo? So what are you thinking, pal? That this weak attempt at a complimentary statement disguised as a question will touch upon her deep dark desire to be a starlet? Think again my un-original friend, your feeble attempt at flattery will get you nowhere!
5. You’re really hot!
Really? You think this frightful pick-up line will work? Are you kidding me! How many times have you heard this one ladies? From every chucklehead on the street just throwing bullshit against the wall and hoping it’ll stick. Forgettaboutit!
6. Don’t I know you?
Of course she doesn’t know you, you idiot! Don’t you know that women are smarter than men and usually pay more attention when first meeting someone, especially a wannabe Gigolo like yourself trying to pilfer her trick-or-treat bag. If she already met you, then chances are you’ve already crashed and burned while trying to hit on her with another one of my 10 Most Frightful Pick-Up Lines from this list!
7. Have we met before?
Come on guys, another feeble attempt at striking up a conversation by asking an innocent question that requires her to really look at you before answering. Can be a tricky one that sneaks up on you ladies, but don’t be fooled! If you met him before then you already know that he’s probably haunted by ’50 Shades of Playerdom’. NEXT.
8. Is that you VANESSA? (or any other name)
This is definitely one of those classic Trick-or-Treat lines: if he’s wrong, then who does he think you are, some two-bit hussy who doesn’t leave an impression? And if you met him before and told him your name, then he should at least remember the place where you met and not guess wrong. Especially if you made a connection. And if he guesses correctly, then go for it! He’s either telling the truth and you’re in for a real Treat, or get ready for a wild hayride because he’s a real psychic and a goblin with a bag full of Tricks!
9. You have BEAUTIFUL eyes! (or any synonym)
Once again, let me ask my favorite question, “So what does that mean?” Because any subjective comment complimenting a woman’s asset, whether it be her eyes or her earlobes is just that: subjective. And usually full of Gigolo bullshit that’s meant to move the conversation forward. Don’t be fooled ladies! If you have beautiful eyes, a wonderful smile, great legs or whatever, you already know it and have been told a million times. BEWARE of all these Mr. Right-Nows with Frightful Pick-Up Lines that make you feel like they CARE!
10.Do you believe in love at first sight?
Give me a break! What decade do think this is, the Psychedelic 60’s where Peace & Love was all the rage? Come on guys, you can do better than this. It’s embarrassing! Because if you were truly blessed with love at first sight, you wouldn’t have to inquire about it. It’ll just happen, because it’s meant to be and the Universe wants it to be. I know, a lot of Zen master mumbo-jumbo that’s not fit for a player like you. Well think again, you ethereal chucklehead, and put your frightful pick-up lines to bed! Amen
A former Wall Street executive turned Hollywood actor and Zen master, Rich Tola is a proud Sicilian boy and native of New Jersey. Self-described as having the ‘cute boy’ syndrome, Tola left a million dollar Wall Street career to head West to Hollywood, to follow his dream of acting. Tola is also passionate about fitness and health and is working to aid victims of domestic violence. He is donating a portion of book sale proceeds to his charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, which teaches the benefits of yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters. He believes that if you feel sorry for yourself, STOP! Start believing that anything is possible, set your sights high and never give up. Tola graduated from The University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School and received his MBA from Northwestern University’s Kellogg School. Tola’s new book, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, is available for purchase at www.Amazon.com and www.RichTola.com. Tola’s colorful and exotic dating experience is also magnified in his sexy new memoir, including 69 bite-size chapters with more than 50 stories detailing the bevy of women he has “dated”—single, engaged and married.
COMING SOON! I just finished writing my memoirs, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, filled with 45 years of colorful and poignant stories about Sicilian funerals, Goombata Sal, the Jersey Shore, Wall Street, NYC strippers, lots of married women, Ivy League romances, Goth gals, bachelor parties, Interventions, my dot-com crash and burn, The Trump Organization, the real estate crash, sobriety, Hollywood “babes”, booty calls, auditions, transsexuals, sex-filled yoga retreats, making a film in two days and for $50,000, and my charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation.
Today, I start the search for the right book publisher – hopefully I’ll have a release date soon, and a book tour to follow. Just like my other works, 10% of all sales go to the foundation.
As for the Fat Burn America Tour, we continue to seek corporate sponsorship, however challenging in a US recession. In the meantime, make sure you keep up with your daily fitness program, and enjoy the arrival of Autumn with our Hollywood Sneak Peek – R