Is your man using you as an emotional crutch? Ladies beware…and Don’t Be His Mommy!
GYST #4: Stop Futurizing
Stop talking about what you are GOING to do, like break-up with your sex buddy or start your own business – and take action today! STOP FUTURIZING
Stay Zen #1 – Intro
Hope you enjoy my new web series that’s all about Health & Fitness, Dating & Relationships, and everything else From Wall Street to Main Street. Stay Zen – R
BEWARE: 10 Most Frightful Pick-up Lines
Listen up ladies, and BEWARE this Halloween season! Don’t be fooled by wannabe Gigolos serenading you with my 10 MOST FRIGHTFUL PICK-UP LINES. Because we all know that ghastly pick-up lines can scare the skeleton out of you and are mischievously laced with good ol’ fashion bullshit that’s meant to keep you talking – so those blood-sucking bad-boys can penetrate your sweet coffin and suck you dry!
Probably the most classic of frightful pick-up lines from the most amateur of bad-boys with no shot at scoring. He’s just trying to bait you ladies into a conversation by asking you an innocent question. No chance suckas!
2. Where are you from?
Notice how these four simple words could spark a conversation? Don’t fall for it ladies! Or better yet, answer it with: Barsoom (the planet Mars from Edgar Rice Burroughs and the sci-fi classic, John Carter). Or just a sweet smile that says “cute, but not enough”.
3. What’s your name?
Ouch, this one hurts just reading it! If she wanted you to know her name, chucklehead, then she would have introduced herself in the first place! NEXT.
4. Haven’t I seen you in the movies?
What do think she’s an idiot! And what’s that mean, “in the movies”? Like Titanic or Twilight or We Bought a Zoo? So what are you thinking, pal? That this weak attempt at a complimentary statement disguised as a question will touch upon her deep dark desire to be a starlet? Think again my un-original friend, your feeble attempt at flattery will get you nowhere!
5. You’re really hot!
Really? You think this frightful pick-up line will work? Are you kidding me! How many times have you heard this one ladies? From every chucklehead on the street just throwing bullshit against the wall and hoping it’ll stick. Forgettaboutit!
6. Don’t I know you?
Of course she doesn’t know you, you idiot! Don’t you know that women are smarter than men and usually pay more attention when first meeting someone, especially a wannabe Gigolo like yourself trying to pilfer her trick-or-treat bag. If she already met you, then chances are you’ve already crashed and burned while trying to hit on her with another one of my 10 Most Frightful Pick-Up Lines from this list!
7. Have we met before?
Come on guys, another feeble attempt at striking up a conversation by asking an innocent question that requires her to really look at you before answering. Can be a tricky one that sneaks up on you ladies, but don’t be fooled! If you met him before then you already know that he’s probably haunted by ’50 Shades of Playerdom’. NEXT.
8. Is that you VANESSA? (or any other name)
This is definitely one of those classic Trick-or-Treat lines: if he’s wrong, then who does he think you are, some two-bit hussy who doesn’t leave an impression? And if you met him before and told him your name, then he should at least remember the place where you met and not guess wrong. Especially if you made a connection. And if he guesses correctly, then go for it! He’s either telling the truth and you’re in for a real Treat, or get ready for a wild hayride because he’s a real psychic and a goblin with a bag full of Tricks!
9. You have BEAUTIFUL eyes! (or any synonym)
Once again, let me ask my favorite question, “So what does that mean?” Because any subjective comment complimenting a woman’s asset, whether it be her eyes or her earlobes is just that: subjective. And usually full of Gigolo bullshit that’s meant to move the conversation forward. Don’t be fooled ladies! If you have beautiful eyes, a wonderful smile, great legs or whatever, you already know it and have been told a million times. BEWARE of all these Mr. Right-Nows with Frightful Pick-Up Lines that make you feel like they CARE!
10.Do you believe in love at first sight?
Give me a break! What decade do think this is, the Psychedelic 60’s where Peace & Love was all the rage? Come on guys, you can do better than this. It’s embarrassing! Because if you were truly blessed with love at first sight, you wouldn’t have to inquire about it. It’ll just happen, because it’s meant to be and the Universe wants it to be. I know, a lot of Zen master mumbo-jumbo that’s not fit for a player like you. Well think again, you ethereal chucklehead, and put your frightful pick-up lines to bed! Amen
And for all the ladies who didn’t know me back in my bad-boy party days – and that’s a good thing – here’s some Jersey Shore mischief from my sexy memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood . Enjoy – R
Be Thoughtful of Others
Being thoughtful of others can be quite elusive, especially when you’re dealing with some form of adversity in your life. Nevertheless, it’s something that makes for a better human experience, so always be conscious of how your actions – and inactions – will affect others.
Case in point: Yesterday I had the afternoon free and I was really looking forward to seeing the film Mud, with Matthew McConaughey and Reese Witherspoon (I heard it was excellent!). And since my friend and I were running a bit late – which is usually the case in Los Angeles for a boatload of reasons – we knew we had minutes to spare once we got there. But as soon as we parked, my friend takes a call from her Mom.
Not good.
Because she proceeded to have a heated discussion with her with no regard for me or the start of the movie. So what did I do? I waved for her to meet me inside, then I darted off to buy the tickets. And to wait…which I did for the next 15 minutes until I refunded our unused tickets and went back to the car – where my non-thoughtful friend was still arguing with her Mom.
So whatever your situation, remember that your actions will affect others…so Be Thoughtful.
Enjoy – R
PS – here’s a thoughtful clip from my AudioBook, Chapter 54 – Mother’s Day
Gone But Certainly Not Forgotten
With the recent passing of Dr. Jerry Buss, the legendary owner of the Los Angeles Lakers, I’ve been reflecting on the importance of remembering loved ones who may be gone but certainly not forgotten.
Like my Uncle Mickey who left us in 2003. Also know as Dr. Cook by his WWII comrades, I fondly remember our weekly talks and brisk walks around the nursing home where he spent his final days.
And although he suffered from an unsympathetic Alzheimer’s disease that made him progressively distant each time I visited, Uncle Mickey remained ever so sweet, benevolent and respectful to everyone he met. Not to mention his charming old school ways – he wore a three piece suit every single day until he could no longer dress himself – and his school-boy crush on Avril Lavigne!
Little did I know that 10 years later I would find this poem I wrote for him the day he passed:
Ode to Mickey
Sitting in my chair, bent head held low,
Oh what I’ve seen, from this window seat row
This is my story, no fear for me now,
Can’t wait for my walks, with my nephew so proud
Cold wars, New York terror, amazing Ali,
Just like my true brethren, please let me be me
Hold onto the past, try not to be seen,
Smile time for my chats, with sweet Avril Lavigne
Nobody can hear me, I’m in the abyss,
What did I do, what in life did I miss
This world did I change, like the high rolling seas,
No chance for me now, against this ugly disease
But worry none friends, fight hard, freedom ring,
Keep faith til the end, cause in life we’re all Kings.
RIP Uncle Mickey (and Dr. Buss)…I’ll always remember you! – R
Kick Him to the Curb – Part 2
Have you ever noticed how a romantic relationship starts to sour when one lover desires something completely different from the other? Say you’re ready to start a family and your boyfriend runs for hills at the mere mention of the word ‘marriage’. What should a woman do?
That’s easy…KICK HIM TO THE CURB.
And we’re not talking about doing so because of some kind of physical, mental or emotional abuse here folks (see my previous blog). No, we’re talking about complete disrespect and selfishness on the part of the man for not letting his woman go if she truly desires a family and he never does.
Now, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, how in the world DOESN’T this chucklehead – who’s been dating the same gal for the past 6 years and living with her the past 2 – KNOW whether or not she wants a family and kids!
Disrespect – that’s why – and complete disregard for his girlfriend’s feelings and desires since he has no interest whatsoever in broaching the subject for fear of her answer…which is definitely YES. Because what 30 year-old gal who’s been dating the same guy for the past 6 years doesn’t want a family and kids? I guess it’s possible – especially if you’re a porn star – but I’d bet a million dollars it definitely wasn’t the case with this jackass. And when I dug a little deeper, I was right: his friends said “they make the best couple and we’re pulling for them to get engaged for Christmas.”
So what should our frustrated yet eternally hopeful bride-to-be do?
KICK HIM TO THE CURB.
Honey you’re wasting your precious time with another ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’ who has no intention of marrying you – ever! Because that’s what most guys do – they keep you around as long as it satisfies their needs and insecurities and keep you addicted to the that sweet narcotic called HOPE. How do I know this? I was one of these guys, which you can read all about in my sexy new memoir,
Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood.
So, for any woman looking for the courage to kick their Mr. Right – who’s actually Mr. Wrong – to the curb, the first thing I recommend is to embrace a daily fitness program based on Yoga and soon you’ll be respecting yourself enough to lose that dead weight that’s dragging you down! Ladies, it’s all about self-confidence and self-respect – which is definitely achieved if you feel better about yourself and are doing something that will positively impact your mind and body…for the rest of your life!
Remember, ANYONE can do it…including YOU! Enjoy – R
Beware the Secret Affair
Here’s a follow-up to my recent blog – or rather Rant – about helping Ladies to stop wasting their precious time with bad-boys who just wanna have fun. Because for the most part Ladies, guys can be quite ruthless when it comes to dating.
Case in point: last night I was hanging with a bunch of twenty-something year-olds who were enjoying themselves over numerous Vodka Cranberries and Whiskey Sours. So this drunk guy starts talking to me about this gal he’s been secretly sleeping with for the past month. Interestingly, about 20 minutes earlier I specifically asked him if he was dating the hot party gal sitting across from me. Because as the wily veteran that I am, it was obvious she was smitten with him. He said no, of course, and proceeded to flirt with her until he asked me to join him for a smoke outside. And once outside, he started spilling the beans about his wild love affair with her – including ALL the sexy details of their romantic dalliances.
But wait, it gets better. As soon as we return to the table, his covert gal announces her departure and quickly leaves (and she was definitely hoping he would accompany her, but he didn’t). And not only did he stay, but as soon as she left he started hitting on her friend sitting right next to him. At which point I leaned over and said three simple words, “Don’t do it”. He just smiled at me and kept on pursuing. Until I finally pulled him aside and said “Hey buddy, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, and if he continues with his stupid pursuit he’ll certainly screw-up his torrid love affair and “be left holding his own d— in his hand”. He just smiled at me and said, “No chance pal, they’ll never know.”
Now it doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out, but there’s NO CHANCE this wanna-be Gigolo gets away with it. Fortunately for his sake, the unsuspecting friend denied his advances and soon left the bar. And fortunately for my sake, I didn’t have to be this chucklehead’s therapist since he didn’t say another word about it and was immediately hitting on other babes at the bar.
So there you have it Ladies – another disrespectful bad-boy who thinks he can score with two friends at the same time. Yes, I completely understand this mindset because 20 years ago I was this guy (go figure, right). So heed my advice and Beware the Secret Affair. And more importantly, when it comes to amateur Gigolos trying to be your Mr. Right Now, employ my favorite 4 letter word…NEXT.
And until next time…don’t forget to get your workout in! Enjoy – R
Ladies Smarten Up
Let me explain with a real life example. This weekend I spent an hour with my sexy cool 33-year-old friend who’s also a really sweet gal whom I never slept with – which makes it easier for me to be her therapist (something I advise never to do, by the way, in my memoir Chapter 15 – Just Say No). She told me last week she met a really hot guy who she spent 3 days texting and talking to before they met for coffee on the 4th day. Sparks were flying and they talked about “meaningful relationships” and how they were both “done with the party scene” and all that.
So her 29 year-old Prince Charming talks like he’s “the one” and asks her to dinner the following night. The next day he never called or anything. So she texted him. No response. Now it’s a week later with no communication whatsoever and she’s whining to me about how she’s getting older and she’s not that attractive any more, and how she feels totally rejected by this chucklehead she really thought was the one. And of course she’s obsessing about whether he’ll still call, and if he does, should she say anything about him blowing her off for dinner or just leave it alone. Now I would call that wasting your precious time, wouldn’t you? So what did I suggest to my love-smitten friend? Forgettabout him!
Ladies, take heed of my favorite 4 letter word…NEXT. Because Mr. Right Now definitely got my friend’s text and choose not to contact her. He’s playing her for a fool and only wants to secure the power – don’t let him do it. Move on to better and brighter pastures and remain open to meeting Mr. Right. It’s not this guy, that’s for sure. Because if a guy doesn’t follow through, then he’s got something or someone else he wants to pursue that takes priority over you. Not good. Be strong and kick him to the curb. Better yet, run! Because Gigolos will only chip away at your self-confidence and self-respect. Something you should NEVER let happen. Respect yourself, just like you would with a Daily Fitness Program. However impossible it may seem, you CAN do it – if you just try and never give up! Because ANYONE can workout every single day and drink from the Fountain of Youth, as explained and simplified by me in Chapter 67 – Self Correct, for when the right man (or woman) does come along.
I have – for the past 40 years.
And for anyone looking to expand your mind – or change careers – here’s what Erica Lamberg with media giant Gannett writes about my memoir, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, www.mycentraljersey.com (click link to read article).
There’s 386 pages packed full of 69 bite-sized Chapters detailing the fascinating journey of this street-smart Sicilian kid from “Jersey” who grew up poor then forged his way through the Wharton and Kellogg Business Schools, to Wall Street juggernauts Goldman Sachs and Drexel Burnham Lambert, to signing contracts with Donald Trump and reaching a net-worth of $10 million. Only to lose it all in the blink-of-an-eye, leading to an Epiphany (Chapter 47) that led to Yoga and enlightenment.
A mouthful I know, but it’s sure been a wild ride with tons of witty and heartfelt stories about growing up Sicilian with “Goombata Sal” and “representing the family”, to the “cute-boy syndrome” that fueled romances with a bevy of engaged and married women (and NYC strippers), to the plethora of major US cities and exotic locales where I lived, worked and played including NYC, LA, Philadelphia, Chicago, Hong Kong, Singapore and Malaysia, to the “nobody makes it here” streets of Hollywood.
You’ll also learn about domestic violence and why I founded a charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, to teach the benefits of Yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters. A portion of all my book and DVD sales are donated to this cause.
Enjoy…and don’t forget to get your workout in! – Rich
BEWARE: 10 Most Frightful Pick-Up Lines
Listen up ladies, and BEWARE this Halloween season! Don’t be fooled by wannabe Gigolos serenading you with my 10 MOST FRIGHTFUL PICK-UP LINES. Because we all know that ghastly pick-up lines can scare the skeleton out of you and are mischievously laced with good ole’ fashion bullshit that’s meant to keep you talking – so those blood-sucking bad-boys can penetrate your sweet coffin and suck you dry! Enjoy – Rich
1. You live around here?
Probably the most classic of frightful pick-up lines from the most amateur of bad-boys with no shot at scoring. He’s just trying to bait you ladies into a conversation by asking you an innocent question. No chance suckas!
2. Where are you from?
Notice how these four simple words could spark a conversation? Don’t fall for it ladies! Or better yet, answer it with: Barsoom (the planet Mars from Edgar Rice Burroughs and the sci-fi classic, John Carter). Or just a sweet smile that says “cute, but not enough”.
3. What’s your name?
Ouch, this one hurts just reading it! If she wanted you to know her name, chucklehead, then she would have introduced herself in the first place! NEXT.
4. Haven’t I seen you in the movies?
What do think she’s an idiot! And what’s that mean, “in the movies”? Like Titanic or Twilight or We Bought a Zoo? So what are you thinking, pal? That this weak attempt at a complimentary statement disguised as a question will touch upon her deep dark desire to be a starlet? Think again my un-original friend, your feeble attempt at flattery will get you nowhere!
5. You’re really hot!
Really? You think this frightful pick-up line will work? Are you kidding me! How many times have you heard this one ladies? From every chucklehead on the street just throwing bullshit against the wall and hoping it’ll stick. Forgettaboutit!
6. Don’t I know you?
Of course she doesn’t know you, you idiot! Don’t you know that women are smarter than men and usually pay more attention when first meeting someone, especially a wannabe Gigolo like yourself trying to pilfer her trick-or-treat bag. If she already met you, then chances are you’ve already crashed and burned while trying to hit on her with another one of my 10 Most Frightful Pick-Up Lines from this list!
7. Have we met before?
Come on guys, another feeble attempt at striking up a conversation by asking an innocent question that requires her to really look at you before answering. Can be a tricky one that sneaks up on you ladies, but don’t be fooled! If you met him before then you already know that he’s probably haunted by ’50 Shades of Playerdom’. NEXT.
8. Is that you VANESSA? (or any other name)
This is definitely one of those classic Trick-or-Treat lines: if he’s wrong, then who does he think you are, some two-bit hussy who doesn’t leave an impression? And if you met him before and told him your name, then he should at least remember the place where you met and not guess wrong. Especially if you made a connection. And if he guesses correctly, then go for it! He’s either telling the truth and you’re in for a real Treat, or get ready for a wild hayride because he’s a real psychic and a goblin with a bag full of Tricks!
9. You have BEAUTIFUL eyes! (or any synonym)
Once again, let me ask my favorite question, “So what does that mean?” Because any subjective comment complimenting a woman’s asset, whether it be her eyes or her earlobes is just that: subjective. And usually full of Gigolo bullshit that’s meant to move the conversation forward. Don’t be fooled ladies! If you have beautiful eyes, a wonderful smile, great legs or whatever, you already know it and have been told a million times. BEWARE of all these Mr. Right-Nows with Frightful Pick-Up Lines that make you feel like they CARE!
10.Do you believe in love at first sight?
Give me a break! What decade do think this is, the Psychedelic 60’s where Peace & Love was all the rage? Come on guys, you can do better than this. It’s embarrassing! Because if you were truly blessed with love at first sight, you wouldn’t have to inquire about it. It’ll just happen, because it’s meant to be and the Universe wants it to be. I know, a lot of Zen master mumbo-jumbo that’s not fit for a player like you. Well think again, you ethereal chucklehead, and put your frightful pick-up lines to bed! Amen
A former Wall Street executive turned Hollywood actor and Zen master, Rich Tola is a proud Sicilian boy and native of New Jersey. Self-described as having the ‘cute boy’ syndrome, Tola left a million dollar Wall Street career to head West to Hollywood, to follow his dream of acting. Tola is also passionate about fitness and health and is working to aid victims of domestic violence. He is donating a portion of book sale proceeds to his charity, The Boulevard Zen Foundation, which teaches the benefits of yoga to women and children living in domestic violence shelters. He believes that if you feel sorry for yourself, STOP! Start believing that anything is possible, set your sights high and never give up. Tola graduated from The University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School and received his MBA from Northwestern University’s Kellogg School. Tola’s new book, Simply Between Millions: From Wall Street to Hollywood, is available for purchase at www.Amazon.com and www.RichTola.com. Tola’s colorful and exotic dating experience is also magnified in his sexy new memoir, including 69 bite-size chapters with more than 50 stories detailing the bevy of women he has “dated”—single, engaged and married.